A satirical petition ostensibly aiming to crowdfund a trillion dollars to allow Denmark to buy California has received more than 200,000 signatures.
“Have you ever looked at a map and thought, ‘You know what Denmark needs? More sunshine, palm trees, and roller skates.’ Well, we have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make that dream a reality,” the petition reads.
“Let’s buy California from Donald Trump! Yes, you heard that right. California could be ours, and we need your help to make it happen.”
The petition comes after the US president expressed a renewed interest in controlling Greenland, a semi-autonomous Danish territory.
It lays out a number of reasons why Denmark would benefit from the mooted purchase of California, including improved weather, a secure supply of avocados and tech dominance.
“Gaining an extra bunch of Tech bros? Great! It is what every democracy needs,” reads the petition, which adds that Denmark will also be able to “protect the free world” and rename Disneyland “Hans Christian Andersenland.”
“Mickey Mouse in a Viking helmet? Yes, please,” it adds.
All that remains is to raise the crowdfunding goal of $1 trillion, “give or take a few billion,” and send in “our bestest negotiators – Lego executives and the cast of Borgen.”
“California will become New Denmark. Los Angeles? More like Løs Ångeles,” the petition continues.
“We’ll bring hygge to Hollywood, bike lanes to Beverly Hills, and organic smørrebrød to every street corner. Rule of law, universal health care and fact based politics might apply.”
Trump, who took office on January 20, has described US control of Greenland as an “absolute necessity.”
Despite those rebuttals, the debate over Greenland’s future has been stirred up by growing speculation over its independence movement.
In his New Year’s speech, Greenland’s prime minister said the island should break free from “the shackles of colonialism” – though the speech did not mention the United States.
